Tips for Whittling Down Your Guest List

IW5Tips for Whittling Down Your Guest Count

With the various re-opening rules around the country due to Covid-19, we are slowly but surely getting back to weddings (YAY!) but, with the cautious reopening, comes gathering maximums. In Nashville as of this posting, guests count is 25 people and in New York City, it is 50 people. So you want to get married? But you want to keep your guests safe and follow county guidelines? We’ve got some tips for you for whittling down your guest list.

1. Set parameters for whittling down your guest count.

The idea of ranking your guests is truly awful. No one but Kelli, your third grade “best friend” ranks her friends. (Thanks for the emotional scarring Kelli). Creating parameters can help you form a structure to your smaller guest count that might help you sleep at night.

For example: If your guest list was just immediate family, how many folx is that? If you add in just extended family that doesn’t have to get on a plane, how many folx do you have? If you don’t allow any kids, does that help your count?

2. Make it fair.

If you are inviting one friend, your betrothed should also get one friend. If siblings are coming on one side, siblings on the other side should be invited. Keeping it fair keeps it within the parameters (See #1) and will also help you sleep easier.

3. If max capacity is 50, your list can have 46 guests.

Just because your capacity is 50, doesn’t mean that you need a full 50 guests. If you’ve set your parameters and it’s a fair invite list and it totals a few less than 50, that is just fine! Whatever is the best number for y’all is the best number. Period.

4. Have a smaller and larger guest list ready.

While I don’t like to use the word “Phase” after this terrible invitation went viral, we’ve seen that county rules can pivot at any dang moment and we want to make sure you can get married at any size! If your county allows 50 folx, what does your 25 list look like? What does your 75 and 100 guest list look like? While it seems like unnecessary and annoying work to do, it will save you a ton of stress and time when inevitably your county rules pivot last minute.

5. Keep your local friends close.

If a guest is unable to attend last minute (as Covid is creating many more last minute drops), have your local friends aware of your wedding date and the potential to add them if possible! Let them know that you want them there if at all possible but the parameters (see #1) and keeping it fair (see #2) has limited the count. Folx will understand more than you think. And folx will always say yes to free food and booze, even last minute.

6. Keep it private.

There is no faster way to upset someone than let them know they are your #4 best friend (again, thanks Kelli). So whatever your parameters are, (unless it’s clear cut like immediate family), keep them PRIVATE. Between you and your Beyonce and no one else, cause let’s be real, no one can keep a secret. (Here’s looking at you Mom!)

7. Stick to your guest count.

In recent days, cops have been breaking up events that are against the county guidelines. And no one wants that for your wedding! So if your maximum guest count is 50… stick to it. I promise, it’ll be lovely!

So that’s it! Now get to that guest list! While this sucks- the fact that you have to whittle down your guest count cause so many people love you is kind of cool! Your guests will understand. This is nuts. Emily Post never wrote a post on a global pandemic. This is… ready for it… let’s use the word again… UNPRECEDENTED times.

Be graceful, be communicative, and be kind to yourself. You’ll get married!



LAUREN SCHAEFER IS THE FOUNDER OF THE GET TOGETHER EVENTS CO., YOUR MONTH-OF WEDDING AND EVENT COORDINATION COMPANY, OFFERING AFFORDABLE PLANNING SERVICES, PEACE OF MIND, AND DAMN GOOD TIMES TO NEW YORK, NASHVILLE, CHICAGO AND BEYOND.

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